Death bed

So many people, so many faces, all those stories based on a reality. Everyday life is just ordinary. It’s normal to wake up every morning, being able to breathe and live on. 

But every single person will be burried one day, and becoming one with mother earth. In our lives we have many milestones, that define us, and we are the master of the choices in our lives. 

At one point we will grow old and say our goodbyes to the world, and join the world of spirits. Just like my grandfather, whose death has affected me a lot. But it’s been a long while since he is gone and I have realized that he lived the long time. 

He lived enough to be able to know me, to play with me and to love me like no other damn person could.  He was family, all in one person and so irreplaceble. 

I know that death is the fact that we all know will come to us. It is damn painful for those who have to go through a loss of someone they loved dearly. 

Now if you stop talking to someone you really used to love, it’s still better than having that person dead, because you could still patch up with someone you fought with, but never return that person the freedom of life. 

It’s like a burning absence from your life, and in the amount of one year, I have lost two good friends of mine. Right now one of my friends is fighting the death off her bed, and I’m just in terrible pain, trying to understand how I could help someone who God has destined to die. 

As I speak of death, I have a feeling that I will achieve it one day, maybe early, maybe late in my life. But still hurts me if I lose one of the beloved people from my life. 

I have stopped my daily routines and all I have is stupid drama left. I have people expecting a lot of stuff from me, and it is just a damn pressure on my head and heart. 

I could not live losing more people, no matter if they die or not. And this blog post is an appeal to all my friends that I have hurt, or it might have seemed that I cared less than I used to; I damn love you. 

And I am so greatful to have you guys in my life. I’ve been struggling for a long while with the loss of every person, mentally and emotionally. It is getting too much to take in and I am just hoping to pass all this shit. 

It won’t be the easiest way possible, but a worthy way for sure. 

I’m glad I’ve had the strength to enjoy my life still, with happiness and the true, righteous friends. I’m satisfied with how my life is going and not being suicidal is feeling wonderful. 

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