Weed

Having horrible red eyes often indicates a consumation of drugs. And what did I do? I have blood red eyeballs, and not even a little amount of drugs in my system.

My eyes disgust me honestly, I feel like they are sour and burning inside my skin. I can’t even explain the weird feeling of having cried that much. 

It’s very annoying when people look at you and can tell, that you have shed tears… but it also hurts, how some people can never notice your tears, even when they are falling down right infront of them. 

In my life I have had only a few people who could feel that I had cried and that I was terribly in pain. God knows who still decided to remain silent. Bless them. 

Perhaps they didn’t wany to deal with it at that moment, and I can’t blame them. It is horrific to see me behind my mask. This mask is shattered daily, and repaired hourly. 

In public places, I often tend to see a thing that reminds me of another thing. Memory can be painful and it can make you feel as if your throat is being slit up. 

I hate how certain people would rather remain silent than using their voice for something that really matters. Always being part of the two-day-gossip of the world, never for something actually worth it. 

I will not say that them talking would have helped me, but it would keep me distracted for a very long time. Maybe it wasn’t as precious as my solitude, but certainly a beautiful way to spend life.

Being around someone, taking part in their life can save their lives. They can feel released that they actually have lifelines. You don’t have to make them your best buddy, but be there. 

That’s what I have been doing to a lot of people, and since I have been suffering too, I started to feel a little less lonely. I will always have the belief that good people exist. They do. 

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