My lover’s crush

The man I am unquestionably in love with, has a strong desire for other women. Somewhere in these women, there is this one girl he never really told me about. 

I know that jealousy leads to conflict; it leads to showing your partner that you do not trust them, but he wasn’t mine and I wasn’t even jealous, for as she could never love him the way I loved him.

She considered herself a phenomenal woman with a phenomenal worth. She was taken, and this fact used to bother the man I loved. He used to say that the guy she was with, had nothing but money to feed her hungry and greedy stomach. 

She was a hopeless romantic, showing one side where she was happy with her man, and another side where she blamed a guy she used to love. 

Often I question myself, if it was the man I love the same guy that broke her heart, but then again, he looked more hurt than her. She had moved on, was happy, or atleast claiming to be happy. 

I have no idea where I come in this game, for as she doesn’t even know me, and I have looked through all her social media posts and am aware of half of the happenings of her life, since she loves to post that much information. 

I was broken and shattered by the man for all kinds of reasons that I do not want to discuss, and he was happy, he didn’t have any regrets or certain feels. 

He claimed to be attracted towards me and he felt for me, but love wasn’t in his mind or heart and for a relationship it was too early and we were too young. 

Serious happenings come with their time, but if something is taking too much time, you might want to double-check. Often the person you thought would always be there and love you, support you, tolerate you, appreciate you, is not the one you would want it to be. 

We can’t make anyone feel something that just isn’t there. Love takes time in both cases; falling in love or forgetting your love. 

I doubt that you can ever forget the way you have been crazy about someone, since emotions stay in your heart, but eventually you’ll realise that you are better off without the toxic people. 

I hope that wherever he is now, he is happy and that whoever he would want to be with, he gets, because I sadly wasn’t good enough for him.


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